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The Mothers of Re-invention
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Before China started its reforms and opened up to the outside world, many foreigners had the notion that Chinese women enjoyed unprecedented independence from men and high participation in the public sphere.

 

This liberation for women, however, worked as a double-edged sword. Very often, it forced them to juggle jobs and families with great difficulty.

 

Things are different today in a market economy in which masculinity is measured by the amount of money a man makes. A husband's higher income has taken the pressure off many working wives. Urban Chinese women, particularly in the middle-class, now have more options on how to spend their time.

 

Some women feel their social identity is no longer contingent on them staying in the workforce. Instead, they see family as the primary commitment, and are proud to play a supporting role to the husband.

 

Although it is a relatively recent phenomenon, it is no longer uncommon to see a small number of "full-time wives" (quan zhi tai tai) in Chinese cities, particularly within the rich and privileged echelon.

 

The reasons behind this new phenomenon are many and diverse. Some believe such a trend has become possible simply because a growing number of families can afford not to have two incomes.

 

Others point out that their lifestyle and choices owe not only to the economic boom but also to increasing social stratification, with the availability of migrant and laid-off workers as home-making helpers.

 

Meng Baili, a manager in an IT company in Beijing, is still looking for "Mrs Right," and in the meantime has his apartment cleaned by a local Beijing woman, a former factory worker who lost her job due to enterprise restructuring. Would he want his future wife to work? Meng said he was happy either way.

 

"She does not have to work, as my salary is good enough to support her. But if she wants to work, it's her choice. As long as she fulfils her duties as a wife, I have no objection," he said.

 

When asked how he preferred to see his wife spending her time, Meng replied: "She can do community or charity work or work out in the gym to stay slim and fit but she shouldn't do housework. That's the maid's job."

 

Indeed, very few full-time wives quit jobs to do housework. Hua Ruiling is in her late 30s and has two children, 15 and 3. Her husband is a real estate developer, and the family live at an expensive address in Haidian District, Beijing.

 

Hua employs two full-time domestic helpers; one cooks while the other works as a nanny. Hua said that her husband was often away on business, sometimes abroad, but she had her own network of friends.

 

She attends adult education classes and yoga classes, and drives her children to school and childcare. Currently she is attending an adult education course designed for women like herself.

 

Offered by a prestigious university at a price which laborers and migrant workers would find astronomical more than 30,000 yuan (US$3,700) for one participant the course covered a wide range of subjects including literature, history, home science, and child development.

 

"There is a lot of useful knowledge and information out there. I feel that I can become a more cultivated person. I also meet a lot of new friends by going to these activities," Hua said.

 

Pros and cons

 

Feminists debate the pros and cons of women returning home to become full-time mothers and wives. Some see this move as socially regressive because women run the risk of losing their independence and becoming socially disempowered. Others see it as a positive change for women, as they now have the option of not working, thus having more autonomy to follow their own dreams.

 

"Some women decide to quit man's world so that they can pursue their own idea of work. Stopping working for money doesn't mean that they disappear from public sphere. For instance, doing volunteer work, charity work, and running parents' groups online is also an important way of making contribution to society," said Wang Gan, an anthropologist who has written extensively on the topic of work and motherhood.

 

While some women decide to become full-time wives because they bring clout and "face" to their husband, some men consider it a status symbol to keep their wives at home. Other women have decided to leave the workforce because they see fit to adjust their priorities in the face of changed domestic circumstances.

 

This shift tends to happen when a couple is starting a family. Jiang, who declined to give her full name, worked as an accountant in a German-owned company in Beijing but stopped working after giving birth to her son.

 

However, she stressed this may be an interim plan and she may not want to stay away from work permanently.

 

"I read many books on parenting, and most of them point to the importance of bringing your child up on your own instead of using a nanny, especially during the first couple of years. So for the sake of my child's future, I am happy to stop working for a year or two," Jiang said.

 

In spite of the glamour of the "full-time wife," to most middle-class urban women, it is more desirable to have a foot in both worlds.

 

In constructing a profile of the archetype "Vogue" woman, Liu Dan, from Conde Nast, which produces the Chinese Vogue magazine, said: "The archetypical Vogue woman is not a full-time wife, nor is she stressed out with work. She balances work and family, successfully and effortlessly."

 

Xia Jun, 31, HR consultant with a trans-national corporation in Beijing, had a baby boy six months ago, and is currently still on unpaid maternity leave. With the help of a full-time live-in maid, Xia divides her maternity leave between her baby and trying to finish a research project for her Master's thesis. She will go back to work in eight-months. "It never occurred to me to become a full-time mother. It's important to have my own social life, to be exposed to smart people and exciting things," Xia said.

 

Xia also believed it was risky for a woman to build her sense of security around a man, especially considering the growing infamy of married rich men betraying their wife and taking on lovers and mistresses.

 

"During the last few months since I had the child and stayed at home, I noticed I have become emotionally more dependent on my husband, more demanding of his attention and understanding, and more insecure about his feelings for me," Xia said. "This is because he has a whole world outside home, and I have nothing else to talk about apart from home. When I was working, I was not like this," she said.

 

Although pleased with the time off during her maternity leave, Xia fears she can't afford to stay away from work for too long.

 

"Things change fast, and organizational cultures and structure changes fast too. If you don't keep up, you may not be able to cope with the change," Xia added. "In my company, organizational structures are altered every half a year. I also know that if I stay away for too long, say for two or three years, there will be new people coming in, younger and with more credentials."

 

From what Xia can see, the full-time wife phenomenon is a symptom of a patriarchal society. "It never occurs to my husband that he could quit work and look after the child. That's almost unheard of in China. I know it's quite common with Westerners. At work, I have quite a few European female colleagues whose husbands are here to look after children. But that's almost unheard of among Chinese men," she said.

 

Both the birth of the "full-time wife" and the emergence of the "vogue woman" have taken place in Chinese cities not in spite of, but precisely because of, growing social and economic stratification over the last couple of decades.

 

Social stratification

 

To be sure, urban middle-class women can afford to choose between working and not working, but they cannot do it without cheap labor provided by rural women and laid-off factory workers who work as their domestic helpers.

 

The latter are not blessed with these options. While some women in the cities are thinking of quitting jobs or cutting down work hours to spend time with their family, more and more rural women are leaving home and their families in order to work in cities as domestic workers. Currently there are at least 200,000 domestic workers in Beijing, and another 200,000 vacancies waiting to be filled.

 

Xie Hong is one of the thousands of women in Beijing who leave her children behind in the village in order to make money working as a baomu. A young woman from Sichuan and in her late 20s, she works as a part-time domestic cleaner. Xie said she missed her own children badly and talked to them on the phone whenever she could.

 

"City kids are so spoilt and live like princes and princesses. Each time I look at them, especially those who are at a similar age to my own children, I get upset. I am also a mother, but why can't I cuddle my children and buy them their favourite treats every day?" Xie said. "I know I am doing this for my kids, but I am also missing out on so much by being away. Last time I went home to see my kids, they looked at me as if I was a stranger and wouldn't come close to me," Xie added, her eyes filled with tears.

 

Because of migrant women such as Xie, and thanks to the growing trend of outsourcing domestic work in urban China, middle-class urban women across the board are increasingly able to tailor their lifestyles and work patterns to suit their individual needs, thereby freely negotiating between working and not working, between full-time and part-time work, or between working for money and working to fulfill one's dreams.

 

For many single professional women, life without a man is just fine, as long as she has the help of a maid. Similarly, for married women, their lifestyle either as a full-time wife or professional is hardly sustainable without the availability of paid domestic work.

 

(China Daily September 30, 2006)

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