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舒婷:《致橡树》(中英双语)

       再下面这个版本就是未经修改的网络英文译本,大家可以比较一下两个译本的不同之处。

 

 

原诗 网络英译版
致橡树 To the Oak Tree
作者:舒婷 By Shu Ting
   
我如果爱你—— If I love you --
绝不像攀援的凌霄花 I will never be a trumpet creeper
借你的高枝炫耀自己 Clinging to your body to highlight my height
   
我如果爱你—— If I love you --
绝不学痴情的鸟儿 I will never be a spoony bird
为绿荫重复单调的歌曲 Repeating the monotonous song for a green shade
   
也不止像泉源 Nor a spring
常年送来清凉的慰藉 That brings perennial cool solace
也不止像险峰 Nor steep peak
增加你的高度,衬托你的威仪 That increases your highness, reflect your eminence
甚至日光 Even the sunlight
甚至春雨 Even the spring rain
不,这些都还不够 No, all these are not sufficient
   
我必须是你近旁的一株木棉 I must be a ceiba stand by your side
作为树的形象和你站在一起 A tree
根,紧握在地下 With roots clinched underground
叶,相触在云里 And leaves touched in the cloud
每一阵风过 We nod to each other
我们都互相致意 When each gust passes by
但没有人 But nobody
听懂我们的言语 Can understand our words
   
你有你的铜枝铁干 You have your iron body
像刀、像剑,也像戟 Like a knife, a sword, as well as a halberd
我有我的红硕花朵 I have my red flowers
像沉重的叹息 Like a heavy sigh
又像英勇的火炬 And a valiant torch
我们分担寒潮、风雷、霹雳 We share cold, storms and thunders
我们共享雾霭、流岚、虹霓 We enjoy brume, mist and neons
仿佛永远分离 Seems we are part always
却又终身相依 But we are together forever
   
这才是伟大的爱情 Only this can be called a great love
坚贞就在这里 The loyalty is this
爱——
不仅爱你伟岸的身躯 Not only your manful body I love
也爱你坚持的位置,足下的土地 But also the place you hold, and the land under your foot


 

       修改后的版本确实在语言和意境两方面都更加优秀吗?或者你觉得未经修改的版本才更加贴近诗人想要表达的效果?欢迎提出不同的意见,大家见仁见智。如果你对这首诗感兴趣,也可以在页面下方留言处提交自己的翻译版本,与广大翻译爱好者交流赏析。

 

(来源:中国网学英语频道

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