Better than before: Good habits lead to happier lives
- By Eugene Clark
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E-mail China.org.cn, July 16, 2015
Things are seldom what they seem. We often assume that the person who is getting the most done is working consciously at it all the time. In fact, most highly successful people have developed a number of good habits that enable them to act almost unconsciously, automatically, thus saving their energy and freeing their conscious mind for full concentration on those aspects of their lives that require focus and careful decision making. This is the major theme of Gretchen Rubin's bestselling and excellent book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Every Day Lives (gretchenrubin.com).
It is through changing our habits that we get about the business of changing our lives and thereby shaping and changing our destiny for the better. For example, we all know we should have healthier diet, exercise regularly, give up smoking, relax more, stop procrastinating, sleep better, get more done, be more efficient and engage more deeply and constructively with our relationships. Yet, as we know from our broken New Year's resolutions that our good intentions often fail to convert into habitual action. Thus, the number of gym memberships peaks around January with the majority of people seldom attending on a regular basis.
Here are a few important points about habits developed with powerful examples, reference to the research and many practical suggestions.
1. Self-knowledge. Everyone is different and people who form good habits know themselves and what works for them. For example, Rubin notes some people are driven by the need to meet the expectations imposed by others. Other people are strongly motivated by their own internal drivers. Some have strong internal and external motivators, while still others rebel against both and seek their own path at everything.
2. Different solutions for different people. In a chapter by this title, Rubin notes that because each of us is different, what works in forming a good habit or breaking a bad one will be different for different individuals. Other differences are the result of varying contexts, type of habit one is attempting to form, availability of support networks and so on.
3. Foundational habits. Not all habits are created equal. Rubin identifies the need for good dietary habits, sound sleep, regular exercise and removal of clutter as 'foundational' habits that form the basis for other good habits.
4. Measuring and monitoring. What gets measured gets done. It is important to schedule activities that we want to become habitual and to monitor progress.
5. Accountability. Habits will be formed if we hold ourselves accountable, for example, by making out goal public, setting a deadline, finding a partner to call us out when we have fallen off the track.
6. The power of beginnings. There is much truth to the saying that 'Well begun is half done.' For some a small first step is enough. Others need to start with a giant step and get motivated by that. In some cases, a new habit comes about almost as a 'lightning bolt' -some trigger event, large or small, that changes our lives.
7. Convenience. Rubin makes the point that the more convenient we can make an activity, the more likely it will become a habit. For example, if we are trying to lose weight, we might make good food choices readily available and force ourselves to walk to the store to buy candy, chips and less healthy food. We should also look at the efficiency of our lives to see how we can avoid needless tasks altogether.
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