A middle school girl who felt ashamed of her mother's unkempt appearance recently hired another woman to attend a parents' meeting at her school in her mother's place in Dalian, Liaoning, New Business reported.

 

The incident helped expose the misunderstandings that can occur between parents and image-conscious young people when parents and children do not talk to one another, experts said.

 

The mother, surnamed Wang, had wondered why her daughter's junior middle school had not held a parents' meeting over the course of two semesters, so she phoned the school. The teacher who answered told her the school had been meeting with parents on a monthly basis.

 

Confronted with her mother's discovery, the daughter, Ping Ping, a 13-year-old grade-one middle school student, confessed that she had hired the aunt of a classmate to play the role of her mother. She paid the woman 50 yuan (US$6.5) per meeting.

 

Wang was furious and slapped Ping Ping on the face.

 

However, the girl appeared not to feel guilty and stood her ground, the paper reported.

 

"It is not my fault. Your bad behavior and style made me lose face," she said defiantly.

 

Ping Ping complained that as far back as primary school, her mother had attended the parents' meetings wearing the same outfit a black and white suit and exhibited what her daughter described as coarse behavior.

 

When teachers invited parents to say a few words at the meetings, Wang often spoke at length with a very strong local dialect while the other parents spoke fluent standard Chinese and made smart and brief speeches.

 

Fearing that she would become a laughing stock, Ping Ping decided to prevent her mother from coming to meetings at her middle school when she started there last September.

 

The girl started looking for an impostor to play her mother. Ping Ping settled on a classmate's aunt who was pretty and discrete after visiting the classmate's home. The girl made excuses and begged the woman to attend the parents' meeting in her mother's place. She paid the aunt 50 yuan (US$6.5) each time as a gift. Her classmate kept her secret.

 

However, the gift money eventually became a big burden for the girl, who had limited pocket money. She had to cut off all sweets and snacks and sometimes asked her grandparents for money.

 

"As long as my mother does not cause me to lose face in public, I can bear the hardship of life," Ping Ping said.

 

Wang was shocked and blushed after hearing her daughter's explanation. She did not realize that she had wounded her daughter's pride.

 

"I will pay attention to my behavior and image in the future," Wang said.

 

Zhang Lili, a psychologist, said it is common for young people to feel like other people's parents more attractive and educated than their own.

 

"Teachers should help students understand the hardships parents face and organize more group activities for parents and children," Zhang said.

 

"Parents also need to communicate with their children regularly and try to behave themselves to become role models."

 

(China Daily April 27, 2007)