Any more testosterone tonight and a congressional hearing would
have been in order.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was named
Best Movie Sunday at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards—a decidedly manly
affair during which all six performance honors went to actors with
Y-chromosomes. Or, as King of Queens star Kevin James referred to
the event before the ceremony, "the award show where you can wear
sneakers."
Actor Johnny Depp (L)
accepts the best movie award for his film Pirates of the
Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest with the film's producer Jerry
Bruckheimer at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards in Los Angeles, California
June 3, 2007.
Also riding high on Pirates' continuing mass appeal was Johnny
Depp, who scored his second golden popcorn for playing fey scalawag
Captain Jack Sparrow.
"I'd like to thank this man," the Best Performance winner said,
pointing at producer Jerry Bruckheimer, "and Disney for not firing
me, because we were teetering on that for awhile."
And what a history-changing move that would have been,
considering Dead Man's Chest is one of only three movies
to have ever cracked the US$1 billion mark at the box office and
the scene-stealing Depp is repeatedly singled out as the reason to
sit through the five-plus hours that constitute the second and
third installments of the franchise.
Equaling Pirates' two wins was the one-man audience slayer that
is Sacha Baron Cohen, who shared the award for Best Kiss with
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby costar Will
Ferrell, and earned Best Comedic Performance kudos for his now cult
classic turn in Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make
Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
Borat couldn't be at Universal City's Gibson Amphitheater
tonight, Cohen said, because the Kazakh is currently in rehab
after, unable to deal with his newfound celebrity, he suffered a
breakdown during which he shaved his mustache and went on a talk
show and made pro-Jew remarks.
But the absence of his alter-ego didn't prevent Cohen from
engaging in an all-out, rolling-around-on-the-floor makeout fest
with Ferrell, which came after the Brit accused the Blades of
Glory star of kissing him five times on the set of
Talladega Nights and then failing to return his calls.
"You kissed me five times, and that was just acting?" Cohen
inquired, mock-outraged.
"We did five takes," Ferrell insisted.
"You asked me to move in with you," Cohen said.
"I did not ask you to move in with me!" Ferrell protested. "I
said if you were in the neighborhood to stop by my house for a cup
of coffee with me and my wife!"
"You kissed me five times, and you've got a wife? You're a total
bitch!" Cohen exclaimed, slapping Ferrell in the face.
Cue Cohen moving in for the kill and the ensuing guy-on-guy
action.
Gerard Butler, aka the loincloth-wearing King Leonidas, took
home the golden popcorn for Best Fight for his CGI-enhanced
throwdown with the Uber-Immortal in the blockbuster
big-screen adaptation of the Frank Miller graphic novel 300.
"I really wasn't expecting this," the Scottish actor said. "I
want to give a message to the younger people out there: When you do
an action movie it's really good fun to kick the s--t out of as
many people as you can. I had a great time kicking ass and telling
an amazing story."
And that speech was still way cleaner than Jack Nicholson's when
the Oscar winner accepted the award (the first of the night) for
Best Villain for his role as mob boss Frank Costello in Martin
Scorsese's blood-soaked cops-and-gangsters saga The
Departed.
Dane Cook, at least, caught two F-bombs in the acting icon's
acceptance speech before commenting, "How s--t-faced was Jack
Nicholson?" as he introduced the first of five viewer-submitted
short movie spoofs.
Cook was also responsible for one of the other more awkward
moments of the night, as well, announcing at one point that Paris
Hilton had been "so offended by Sarah Silverman's opening remarks,
she checked herself into jail early."
Cut to Hilton, still sitting there—despite the fact that she
definitely wasn't smiling during Silverman's crude intro.
Mike Myers was honored with the MTV Generation Award for his
overall contribution to film and television, much of it in the form
of one memorable comedic character after another.
"Two other people have won this award before me: Tom Cruise and
Jim Carrey," Myers said. "One is a Hollywood hunk—thank you. One is
a genius at comedy and drama—again, thank you. And one of us killed
a drifter—sorry about that."
And to the fans at large, "You are my boss and I never forget
that. Thank you!"
But although the list of winners made this year's kudosfest
quite the stag party, feminine lovelies such as Jessica Biel, Mandy
Moore, Cameron Diaz, Eva Mendes and Amanda Bynes were on hand to
present; Rihanna and Amy Winehouse brought sexy back with their
respective hit singles Umbrella and Rehab (the
unofficial theme of the evening, it seemed); and, thanks to the
reliably persistent raunchiness of host Sarah Silverman, this was
one of the least P.C.—and, really, one of the funnier—MTV
ceremonies in recent memory.
"Whenever I think of white people with Hispanic names, I think
of our next presenter—Cameron Diaz," went one of those trademark
Silvermanisms.
And, naturally, Hilton received her fair share of attention,
considering she'll be turning herself in either tomorrow or Tuesday
to start serving a 23-day jail sentence for probation
violation.
"I'm really scared but I'm ready to face my sentence," she told
reporters on the red carpet—which was actually a festive pink
tonight—before the show. "Even though this is a really hard time, I
have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that's
really helpful."
The only honoree not on hand to share the spotlight, actually,
was eight-year-old Best Breakthrough Performance winner Jaden Smith
from The Pursuit of Happyness, who, with the help of dad
Will and step-mom Jada Pinkett Smith, turned in his thank you's via
satellite.
A mega movie star in the making, perhaps.
Here's a complete rundown of the winners at the 2007 MTV
Movie Awards:
- Best Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's
Chest
- Best Performance: Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead
Man's Chest
- Best Breakthrough Performance: Jaden Smith, The Pursuit of
Happyness
- Best Comedic Performance: Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat: Cultural
Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of
Kazakhstan
- Best Kiss: Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen,
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
- Best Villain: Jack Nicholson, The
Departed
- Best Fight: Gerard Butler versus the Uber-Immortal,
300
- Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen Yet:
Transformers
- MTV Generation Award: Mike Myers
(Agencies via CRI.cn June 4, 2007)