Lightning marriages no road to domestic bliss

By Fan Junmei
0 CommentsPrint E-mail China.org.cn, March 17, 2010
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Like migrating birds, young people from rural areas go to the cities to make money in spring and return home in winter for Chinese New Year. At home they often make a snap decision to get married, but many of these lightning romances contain the seeds of future trouble.

Lightning marriages can lead to tragedy

Lightning marriages first appeared in big cities as a result of the high cost of living and the idea that "two can live as cheaply as one." But as society develops, "lightning marriages" have also become a trend among migrant workers.

The Chutian Metropolis Daily reported the unhappy outcome of such a whirlwind romance for a young couple from a small town in Hubei Province.

Xiao Yue and Wu Dahai met during Chinese New Year in 2008 and got married ten days later. But their differences in personality became evident soon after their short honeymoon. Quarrels developed into fights and Wu left for Guangzhou on his own before the end of the New Year holiday. They have now been married for two years, but have lived separately for more than one year. They recently agreed to divorce but became embroiled in a violent argument during this year's Lantern Festival. Xiao Yue was hospitalized with severe stomach injuries.

There are many similar cases - a man and a woman who hardly know each get married – sometimes under pressure from their parents, and eventually divorce seems the only way out.

Long-term separation leads to domestic cold war

Not all "flash marriages" between migrant workers result in furious violence and divorce. Another common pattern is for young people to get married during Chinese New Year then return to the city to work. The result is often long-term separation, which can be called a type of "cold" domestic violence.

The Chutian Metropolis Daily provides an example. 36-year-old Wang Bo had spent several years making money in Guangzhou and had neglected the search for a partner. But pressed by his parents, he became engaged to a 24-year-old girl in early 2007 and married her during the Chinese New Year holiday.

A week later, Wang Bo left for Shenzhen and didn't return for the next three years. His wife may as well be a widow.

Of course, not all women are passive victims. Many now are able to lay down conditions before agreeing to get married. Thirty-two years old Wang Lan worked for many years in an electronics factory in Shenzhen. When she got married this year she insisted on a pre-nuptial agreement with her husband that they would not have any baby for three years but would continue to live independently and make money during this period.

Divorce and marriage peak during Chinese New Year

Marriage registrar Zhang Peng told the Chutian Metropolis Daily, that 7,100 couples got married in his district during Chinese New Year holidays in February and that more than half were young migrant workers returning from the cities. Divorces have jumped from 200 in 2002 to more than 1,600 last year, and Zhang reckons half of these were lightning marriages followed by lightning divorces.

Liu Guohua, director of the registry office in E'zhou, a city with a population of more than 900,000, said the divorce rate in E'zhou has been rising for the past seven years. Only around 300 couples divorced there in 2003, but the number has since grown fourfold.

"The emotional foundations of such hasty marriages are not solid, and long-term separation adds to their instability. Having affairs or getting divorced are almost inevitable outcomes," said Liu.

A disease of the modern age

The increase of lightning marriages and divorces can be blamed on the fast pace of modern life and regional imbalances in economic development, says Guo Ying, a history professor from Hubei University. Migrant workers have a limited choice of partners - they either fall in love with a fellow-worker or agree to an arranged marriage back home.

Professor Guo says society will eventually find a way to bridge the gulf between migrant workers' modern attitudes to marriage and the old-fashioned views of their parents. But in the short term the best solution is for the authorities to help young workers to build new lives and relationships in the cities.

(Some of the names in the article have been changed)

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