The loveless marriages of China's gay men

0 CommentsPrint E-mail Xinhua, November 15, 2010
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A life denied

Married for more than 20 years, Zhang Ming is regarded a model husband. He does most of the household chores, takes good care of his daughter, and goes for walks and swimming with his wife.

But when Zhang Ming turned 50, he revealed his true sexuality to her.

"Good for you," said his wife to his surprise. "You must have had a hard time being married to me for this time."

But his wife did not want to reveal his sexuality to others. "It would be unfair to you, our daughter, your parents and to me. You're a perfect man except for this. If you want a divorce, I respect you," she said.

"I'll treat you well," he answered. "I'll take good care of the family."

On a trip to Beijing from his hometown in northeast China, Zhang Ming saw young gay and lesbian couples chatting, watching movies and playing games together -- and he envied them. "They had wonderful lives, no secrets, so natural."

But the cycle of sham marriages continues for many in the next generation.

"I'm gay, but I've just agreed to be the boyfriend of a girl for whom I have no feelings at all," says a man surnamed Wang. He suffers from chronic depression and insomnia. His friends tell him he needs a family to look after him.

Wang is tired. His mother has arranged one match-making event after another even though he has told her he is "not interested in girls."

But, still she believes, he will change after marriage.

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