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My dearest Jiaxin, walk well along your way
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By entertainer Peng Bo (http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4be1ce5801009a19.html), 21:41:39, May 15, 2008

Today, a devastating day!

Jiaxin, gone…….! May 12th disaster, how could you be so cold? May 12th earthquake, how could you be so cruel?

At the age of 27, how young she was! My beautiful journalist, my dearest love, who fell at her post.

Jiaxin, how could you be so coldhearted as to leave me alone? Why didn't you keep your promise? You told me you had exams to take by the end of the month. You promised you would visit me!

Jiaxin, I bought the review materials you needed and I helped you enter for the exam at the Beijing Film Academy. You always said that I was a lazy good-for-nothing. But I did everything you needed! How could you pass away like this?

Why did you leave the world before I could come back to Sichuan? Couldn't you have let me see you one last time?

Today is May 15. This day is fixed now in my mind. I was preparing for the fund-raising performance on CCTV when your good friend Zhou Lei made that heart-breaking call. Zhou Lei, whose voice almost vanished in her tears.

On my side, simply dazed and stunned. My mind a blank. I couldn't accept it. I couldn't believe it. Just days ago, you were still there pestering me to buy the review materials. Won't you use them? You pestered me to enter you for the exam. Won't you take it?

When my mind cleared, I suddenly realized that I was in the CCTV Broadcasting Tower. Ten minutes later, the fund-raising performance would begin. I had to face the national audience. I had to comfort people in disaster areas with my smile. I had to inspire those kindly people suffering tortures in our hometown with words of sincerity.

On public occasions, I simply have to bear all this suffering. I am a performer who must shoulder my burden. Keep the show on the road…

While writing this blog, I call your younger sister. Your broken body has been found. Your mother's whereabouts are still unknown.

The internet chat we had that day was the last thing we shared.

Now, in a daze, I gaze at your QQ picture, black-and-white…. How I wish for a miracle. If only your picture would come back to life. If only the color would come back to your cheeks and I could hear your voice telling me that it was all a mistake…

(China.org.cn translated by Wang Wei, May 16, 2008)

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