Re-examining gender roles

The theme of International Family Day 2009 is "Mother and Family – Challenges in a changing world". In today's society most women go out to work and are exposed to much more pressure than before. Cai says that increased stress is a factor in domestic violence, since violence is one way people cope with stress.

Women who are working hard to build a career still face the double burden of their traditional role as housekeepers and principal nurturers of the family. "The stress makes many women depressed, and some may release it through domestic violence, either emotional or physical. We need to re-examine gender roles in modern society. Men and women need to share responsibilities for a gender-equal, harmonious family, on at least a fifty-fifty basis."

"Women are not obliged to do all the housework; men should lend a hand."

Battling parental 'soft violence'

As a middle school teacher, Cai is also concerned about the mental health of students, especially teenagers. "Whenever I see listless young faces, my heart aches," he says.

Trying to help children become more competitive, parents often push them into supplementary classes in the name of "all-round development". Cai calls it a kind of "soft violence" that is suffocating the young. "It is depressing to see students going through the motions without any enthusiasm. Many lose interest and withdraw from studying altogether, which can be a disaster for them."

According to Cai, enthusiasm is the key to effective study and wise parents offer their children guidance while respecting their interests. "Don't spoil them, but give them the space to develop in their own directions, make their own choices, and discover their own values. In short, let them live their own lives."

More humane enterprises

Cai also participates in a program to help enterprises behave more humanely to their employees.

"If firms help employees solve their personal problems, without interfering in their privacy, the staff will work better as a team and be more efficient, which in turn helps the enterprise to achieve sustainable development and contribute to social harmony," Cai pauses for a moment, "Of course, the details need to be tried out, and undoubtedly we have a long way to go."

In his early 50s, Cai decides to be a full time psychologist after retirement because, he says, "helping others achieve happiness makes me happy". Having studied both traditional Chinese culture and modern psychology, Cai is open-minded and has a strong interest in philosophy which, he says, helps him understand the world more deeply. He plans to continue reading philosophy, because "a good psychologist needs the insight of a philosopher."

(China.org.cn by Fan Junmei, May 18, 2009)