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最给力的托福写作“不”字准则

       三、不准文章逻辑不清

       如果考生的文章是组织有序的,那么阅卷者从头看到尾也不会感到糊涂。但是朗阁海外考试研究中心在此提醒考生,文章结构的有序,并不是单纯地使用了诸如first、second之类的连词就可以达成。文章中所有的句子必须服务于你的论述主题,一旦脱离了主题,那么再精辟的连词也是徒劳的。此外,在独立写作的评分标准里提到了“unity”“progression”“coherence”,这就意味着考生需要将自己的观点通过合理的句型表达出来,做到统一、层层递进、连贯,以期让阅卷者能够“一目了然”文章的意图。以下我们来看一个例子:

       In any relationship of mine, I would wish that first of all, the person I am dealing with is honest. Even though he/ she thinks that he/ she did something wrong that I wouldn't like, he/ she'd better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else, that'd be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again? How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/ her and carry on with the relationship from there. So if I cannot trust a person anymore, if the person doesn't think I can handle the truth, there is no point to continuing that relationship.

       在这个段落里,作者的语言流畅、准确、丰富,前后衔接紧密,语意连贯,句式较多变,并且使用了反问这种修辞手法,因此很好的完成了“组织”句子的目的。尽管不能说十全十美,但是这样的论述仍旧可以得到满分。与之形成鲜明对比的是:

       The people lining up in the embassy are applying for a variety of visas. Some applicants want student visas. Other applicants want resident visas. The other applicants want tourist visas. Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirements. According to a recent survey, the largest number of applicants are applying for tourist visas. The number of people applying for student visas comes in second. Among all the applicants, only a fraction want resident visas.

       这段话的主题句显然是第一句,根据评分要求里对于段落一致性的要求,主题句后面的支持句都必须围绕“不同的人在大使馆里申请不同的签证”这个话题展开论述。仔细分析后我们发现上面这段话里多了一个不相干的句子:“Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirement”,这句话虽然也在谈签证,但是它谈论的是“申请签证很困难”这个论点,这样的话和段落主题就不相同了。因此考生在写文章时,一定要做到一个段落只讲一个话题,主题句的论点必须贯穿这个段落,后面的每一个支持句都朝一个方向前进,只有这样才能写出条理分明的文章。

       四、不准语言过于简单

       新托福的独立写作部分要求考生的语言使用恰当,不过即便考生的词汇使用时有一些小错误,他的文章也可以得到高分。但是如果同时还有一些语法错误的话,那么就很难让阅卷者准确理解句子的意图,这个时候文章的得分就会比较低。另外,经分析发现,若考生只是使用一些简单句和简单的词汇,那么他是无法来阐述较为复杂的问题的,而当文章的句子和单词过于简单时,得分往往不会超过3分。

       Last month, I had a dispute with my parent. It started as a simple conversation that turned into an argument. I wanted to take a year off from school. Of course, my parents argued that I should stay in school. I tried to reason with them and I tried to persuade them that taking a year off from school and working would be valuable experience. My explanation fell on deaf ears, and they refused to let me continue the discussion. They felt I had not thoroughly examined the issue and saw no reason to debate the subject any longer.

       这段文字里作者想要表达“讨论”或者它的近义词,通过巧妙地变换词汇,使整个段落不让人感到乏味。这种语言表达的方式在独立写作里是非常实用的。我们再来看看以下这个例子:

       He is rich.

       这个句子的问题在于rich这个形容词太含糊,他到底多有钱?从这个句子里我们无法看出。因此在独立写作中考生要尽量避免使用含糊的形容词,能够具体的尽量要具体些。比如上面的那个句子我们可以写成:

       He owns a large company and has an annual income of 20 million dollars.

(来源:网络)

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