You are here: Home > Opinion > Columnists

Praise and affirmation keep dreams alive

By Eugene Clark: 0 Comment(s)Print E-mail China.org.cn, September 7, 2013

Adjust font size:

The media today overwhelmingly emphasize the negative aspects of life. I have worked with many journalists and people in Public Relations all of whom affirm that one is more likely to get a story picked up by the media if it contains some type of bad or negative news.

Good news stories, it seems, nowadays don't sell. Too many people see the glass as half empty; see the clouds in every silver lining; fix the blame rather than focus on fixing the problem; stress the things that divide us rather than the many things that unite us; get stuck in our differences rather than search for common ground.

People are getting tired of all the negativity. In Washington, polls show that the majority of Americans are weary of negative politics; sick of all the talk about blame; and frustrated that the major parties spend most of their energy and time on criticism and not enough on working together to achieve what is best for the greater good of society.

Similarly, in relation to China, it is easy to focus on the many problems that have to be addressed and neglect looking back a few short years just to see how far things have come already and just how much has been achieved in a very short time across almost every area of human activity.

On an individual level, there are many quiet heroes all around us and many acts of kindness and other good deeds that are deserving of – and should be – praised. As English poet John Masefield once noted:

"Few people praise enough: all ought to praise when they see something that can be praised. Once in a century a man may be ruined or made insufferable by praise. But surely once a minute something generous dies for want of it."

We have all experienced that great feeling when we receive praise and have seen the magic that can be created in the life of a child, an employee, a friend, a family member, when we give them sincere praise.

Sadly, we often fail to praise and thank a person until it is too late, for example, saving our praise for someone's funeral. Sadder still, in this ego-centric world we live in, many wonderful acts of kindness go unnoticed full stop. In the workplace for example, we often fail to give employees the deserved credit for their suggestions or ideas; fail to encourage employees; criticize them in front of others; fail to ask about their views or suggestions; fail to take action when they are being bullied by others; fail to acknowledge and reward them until they have decided to leave the organization.

Related to praise is the affirmation that should be part of our own self-talk. Self talk is important because as British sprinter Martin Rooney pointed out, "Of all the people on the planet, you talk to yourself more than anyone. Make sure you are saying the right things." These "right things" are in fact self-affirmations, for example, saying that you are good enough. You do have enough time. You are worth it. You can do this. You will succeed.

There is a large body of literature from psychology and related fields that tells us the right things relate to affirmations, telling us that our thoughts determine how we see the world and ourselves. This literature describes the importance of visualization -- visualizing what you want to see happen; relaxation -- staying calm and focused; and affirmation -- positive self talk that you can do what you put your mind to. For example, a basketball or soccer player does far better when focusing on making the shot rather than on not missing it.

Unfortunately, many people talk themselves down and suffer from low self-esteem. Or they surround themselves with negativity and end up adopting the unconstructive language of others as part of their own internal self-talk and image.

If we are to maximize our potential, it is important we surround ourselves with people who affirm our self worth and for ourselves to affirm, through positive self-talk, our confidence that we can succeed and make a difference in the world. As Mahatma Gandhi wrote:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.

The author is a columnist with China.org.cn. For more information please visit:

http://www.china.org.cn/opinion/eugeneclark.htm

Opinion articles reflect the views of their authors, not necessarily those of China.org.cn.