New parents learn valuable lesson after inviting yue sao into their lives
- By Ni Tao
0 Comment(s)
Print
E-mail Shanghai Daily, February 23, 2016
Like many new parents in China, my wife and I decided to hire an ayi to look after our infant son.
It wasn't an easy choice.
In the beginning there was some hesitation as to whether it was wise to share the parenting burden with a stranger, and as a result potentially be deprived of the fun thereof. But our lack of experience eventually convinced us to seek outside help.
So here she came, our ayi, surnamed Yu, 45, a native of Yancheng in east China's Jiangsu Province. She settled down in Shanghai decades ago and married a Shanghainese man. Her 10 years' experience has earned her a reputation as a "star yue sao."
Yue sao are live-in domestic helpers who care for new mothers and their children for one month after they give birth. According to traditional Chinese medical theories, women had better be confined to home, and preferably to bed, to ensure a sound recovery in that particular month, known as yue zi in Chinese. Ailments contracted in the yue zi period will haunt the patient for the rest of her life, it is believed.
Ayi Yu is of medium stature and likes to wear her long hair in a braid that dangles over her work outfit. Her daily routine involves not only taking care of my wife and son, but also dispensing dieting advice.
Usually ayi is soft-spoken, but she becomes adamant when her expertise is challenged. Folk wisdom has it that pigeon soup can heal wounds suffered by new moms (my wife had a Caesarean section.) But our proposal was met with a firm "no" from ayi, who insisted that pigeon soup is not good for breastfeeding women.
We didn't persist, but remain skeptical. Is her "scientific" eating regimen more effective than time-honored wisdom? And as employers, don't we have at least a little freedom to not obey her every command? As the one who cooks for the whole family, my mom will sometimes mumble something of a complaint, but she too, is too polite to protest.
Our doubts, however, were put to rest after we witnessed how Yu devotes herself to her job. My son wakes up twice every night, whereupon ayi will change his diapers and feed him. More work comes during the day, including giving him a bath and washing his underwear. During the Spring Festival, I gave ayi three days off so she could see her family. Her absence accentuated her importance. The last night she was away, my son cried horrendously. Every method we used to calm him failed. His wails would subside only after he exhausted himself.
Go to Forum >>0 Comment(s)